Dearest Hannah,
Good evening. It’s mummy again. How have you been my dearest daughter? How much have you grown? Are you very tall now? Are you at least 100cm now?
Every time this year, my heart is always filled with sadness and lots of emotions. I just wish you were here. Lately mummy has been overwhelmed with a lot on my plate. We will be moving from Singapore soon to the UK. This is where you were born. And we will be leaving this place for good now. I am extremely sad to be honest. I am so worried to move to the UK as we will be so far away from your Kong Kong and Ah Mas...and mummy will be all alone there with no family nor friends. Perhaps if you were still around, you being the Cece to Joel might be able to help me deal with his eating, tantrums and all. I just truly believe that you’ll be a very good Cece to the little boy who’s always so difficult with his eating. I wish you were here Hannah to teach him and grow with him and show him what’s right and what’s wrong. Although you both are twins, I just have a feeling that you’ll be a lot more matured than little Joel. Well, we shall find out when we meet in heaven next time, although I’m not even sure if I would go to heaven to meet you.
Hannah, there is not one day that I never wished you were here with me. The family is so incomplete without you. I just feel the piece of emptiness that nothing can fill. I know no matter what I say or do, you’ll never be back. But I still sometimes wish that everything was just a bad dream. I wish I could turn back time. I would have done a lot of things differently. I have so much regrets in my life. The regrets are so painful. The pain I feel in my heart are so immense at times I don’t know what to do or say or feel.
I wish I could just talk to you face to face like a mother and daughter would. I wish I could just get a hug from you telling me, it’s ok mummy. I wish you would appear in my dream telling me and showing me how you are now. I’d be contented. I wish many wishes but they will never come true.
I love you Hannah. Till we meet again.
Your mummy,
Me
