19 February 2017 - Last Milk Production Session for Joel

Today marks the end of milk production and supply to my precious Joel. It has been a very conflicting decision for me to make as to whether I should keep going or stop. I am typing this blog as I am expressing.

The benefits of breastmilk are so plentiful that I feel rather adamant about it although it might just be a bit that he's getting anyway. Joel has been drinking breastmilk for 18 months and I'm glad that I've persevered thus far. I believe that he has received most of the immunity I have and most of all, the love that I'm giving him with the milk that he's taking from me. Once I stop, that's it...The milk supply will never come back again. But a pat on my back, I have done well. I'm proud of myself.

One regret I have is that I've never been able to breastfeed my precious Hannah and she's never received anything from me apart from growing inside me. I wish she was here with me and i wish i could have breastfed her too. I choke whenever I think of her. She's also part of the reason why I want to keep going for Joel to keep him healthier and stronger, Joel her twin brother.

Joel, I believe will become a great man when he grows up just like what his cece Hannah would want for him.

I've had such a good long relationship with the avent milk pump that saying bye to it makes me feel rather sad. It's something that I've taken with me wherever I went. Looking at it always reminds me of the day that we got it so I could start expressing while the twins were in the NICU. Hannah was still upstairs, alive. It would have served both the twins if Hannah was still here with us. It has served Joel really well over the last 1.5 years. 

Thank you for never failing me and the long hours toiling with me to produce liquid gold for my precious. Deep down I hope that you'll serve me at least once more in the future for perhaps another little girl like Hannah. I sincerely wish for that. In the mean time, have a good rest, you've been really faithful to me.

Zac's first night toilet visit all by himself

Today is the second last day of school for year 1. Zachary has progressed so much since he first started school in Norway. I am so proud of his achievements to date. I wish he would stop getting older and older so quickly.

Today or should I say 14th December 2016 was his first night going to the toilet on his own without asking us to accompany him. He walked to the bathroom, switched on the lights, used the toilet, washed his hands, switched off the lights and walked back to his room again all by himself.

Words cannot express how proud I am of him although I am forever rushing him, scolding him, telling him not to do this and that and telling him to do this and that. He has done so well this year in 1CU and I know that he will keep doing his best in years to come. 

I love this boy to bits and I believe in him. I believe that he will achieve everything he sets out to do and excel. I pray that God keep him healthy and strong, happy and kind always and forever. I love you Zac!