While I was taking my shower today, lots of things went through my mind. I am thankful for so many things in my life. Family, friends, work, etc etc etc. Counting my blessings, I realised that I am truly blessed by God.
I am imperfect. I have lots of problems with my body, my mind, my soul, but yet with all the imperfections, there are so many other things I should be thankful about.
Zac won himself a scholarship to Scotch College and I am so very happy for him and proud of his achievements. He was offered the Talantagh scholarship for his outstanding academic test results. Just two days ago he was given the opportunity to attend a music fellowship audition as well. He seemed to have done very well too. He is such a champ. Regardless of the outcome, I am just extremely proud of him.
Because Zac got the scholarship to Scotch, we are now torn about sending Joel to the same school or for him to keep attending his current school. While deliberating this in the shower, I suddenly thought of dear Hannah, who would have also been the subject to discuss when it comes to school. I thought of it hard as if Hannah was still with me. I told myself if Hannah was still here, I would probably want her and Joel to be in the same school all the way to Year 12. There wouldn’t be any discussions of Joel changing school next year. What a beautiful thought to have…I do imagine sometimes what would it be like with Hannah still alive. Will Joel still be so fussy and demanding? Or Hannah’s presence might change him altogether? It will not be the same for sure.
Regardless of my useless beautiful thoughts, the reality bites. Hannah is no longer with me. Joel will not have a twin sister to go to school with. So, reality is whether Joel will attend the same school as Zac or continue going to the current school. I thought hard, and still have the same views. We work hard for our kids. We want the best for them. So, yes I’d probably say Joel should go to the same school as Zac.
Not sure what I’m rambling about in this post, but it’s a super messy post. My brains are not functioning well these days. My head is in constant pain and dizziness. My memory is not as good as it used to be. Laying down here next to Zac, waiting for him to fall asleep, just for tonight…I want to be thankful…grateful…content…
I love my kids so much and I am so very proud of them. Zac, Joel and even Hannah who fought so hard to live…I pray and wish for the best for Zac and Joel and may they spread their wings and fly and soar like eagles in the sky…as for Hannah, I pray that when I meet her in heaven one day, she will say to me, you’ve done well mummy, just like what I long for God to say to me, you’ve done well my precious child. Be at rest now.
